WHEN IN DOUBT, REACH OUT: WHEN A BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY VEERS OFF COURSE

I had my first child when the internet involved a CD-ROM and was painfully slow. I can’t remember what I used it for, but I can say it wasn’t for finding useful parenting information. These days, I suggest Google with a side of caution. It can be a one-way ticket to Anxietyville if you let it. Still, I wish that 20-year-old me would have had the access to the internet that current me has. As a new parent, I could have used it.

Most of what I knew about birth and breastfeeding came from one book.  I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but the extent of my discussion of breastfeeding by anyone was just a single question: “Are you planning to breastfeed?   I can’t give you the same list of reasons that I could now, I just knew it was the best start I could give my baby. My milk came like a force to be reckoned with and we were off to the races.  I leaked all the time, often waking up in a milk puddle in the middle of the night. I wore underwire bras and figured that because they closed in the front, I could use them while nursing. Real nursing bras were expensive, and I didn’t know the damage that underwire could cause to my supply.

I thought I had a low supply, because I never got much when I pumped, but no one ever taught me how or when to pump. No one taught me what “normal” was. Someone suggested a tea to increase supply, but never talked about the fact that my baby was healthy and well fed so I most likely didn’t need it.  Even with all this, I thought breastfeeding was going great.

Month three rolled around and I woke up to a breast as big and firm as the day my milk came in.  I visited my local urgent care and was diagnosed with mastitis, prescribed antibiotics, warm compresses, and was told I would need to supplement with formula until it got better. No one told me to keep nursing on that side. No one mentioned pace feeding. No one ever said the words lactation consultant. Those two words would have been a game changer for me.

Formula flows quickly and easily from an angled bottle into a hangry baby’s mouth. They don’t have to work as hard to get their food, so of course when you give the baby the choice, they are likely to choose easy. That’s what mine did. I

My breastfeeding journey came to a sad and frustrating end soon after because I didn’t have knowledge or resources. I didn’t have someone reminding me that this was just a hurdle, not a dead end. I didn’t have a doula to give me a list of people I could contact, books and websites I could refer to, or to offer encouragement and to keep going.  Several years and 2 more babies later, I knew where to go to for information on combating clogged milk ducts and how to try to prevent them. I had a list of people I could reach out to for help when I needed more than just reading. I was able to avoid additional bouts of mastitis, but at least knew that we could’ve gotten through it.

If you find yourself in this situation, first, know that you are not alone. So many people have dealt with your exact issue. Depending on what’s going on, you may find help from peer groups.  You can reach out to your OB or Midwife.  Find out if your child’s pediatrician is supportive and knowledgeable about breastfeeding and if their office has a lactation consultant on staff. I recommend this with a side of trust your instincts as a parent. If you’ve done this and still feel like you need more help, do not hesitate to contact an independent lactation counselor or IBCLC. If you are in Richmond, I am happy to help point you in the direction of some of these folks.

I should add that feeding your baby may not include breastfeeding/chestfeeding and that’s ok. There are so many amazing ways to nourish your baby.